You were unfair to me
I realised today that you were unfair to me.
I decided to not take this relationship "light and breezy". I decided to take a chance and focus my efforts on the relationship, wanting to genuinely give it a shot and see where it could lead to. I am beginning to think that you never really wanted that in the beginning. You just wanted to say you had a girlfriend. I was just that, a fun thing to have next to you. Maybe not in the end, I think eventually you began to see our relationship as a serious thing, but before that you did not.
I translated a transcript of a video you left on your camera that I had. Normally I wouldn't. but I wanted to feel mad I suppose, see what you said about me privately when you can actually be honest and not scared of telling the truth. I wish you would have told me the truth about everything.
The unfair thing in particular is the realisation that despite me not giving you a reason to doubt our relationship, you were still unsure. You never chose the relationship, you never chose me, because otherwise those other people would have never interfered with your desire to be with me. I think I am just not the right person for you. Maybe it is unfair of me, we were both young. But I was hoping you took it as seriously as me, that you really gave it a shot. And it is shattering to hear that you did not. You just were not ready to commit. Whether that be at all or me, but one thing is for certain, you were not honest about it. You are selfish, unfortunately. Convinced me to commit before I was ready, and then you yourself don't even give it a 100% shot. It is sad really.